Work work work!
It has been a very busy day. Actually it has been quite busy for many days. The pressure is mounting and days are getting longer. What to do??? Its ironic that when I was sitting in home unemployed, I wanted a job so badly. Now when I am working, I will be very much relieved if I get a few days off. Not getting what I want – It has been my thing lately. Just like getting divorce is Ross’s thing (Sorry, I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S a lot 🙂 ), not getting what I want is my thing. It has happened so many times in my life that I am slowly losing track of it. Be it in love, life, career choice, normal day-to-day decisions, I am in the constant process of learning to accept as it comes in life. God has been silently, yet powerfully teaching me to show gratitude in every little things. At first I was very disappointed. Anger, hatred, jealously used to arise from my heart and culminate in my mouth. There were times when I used to disrespect, disregard many of my friends. Not that I am proud of, but now when I think of those rejection and hardships I have undergone and the lessons life has remorselessly taught me, I feel may be I deserve it. However. It is also true that whatever I have got in my life, I am very satisfied. I couldn’t ask for more…
One thing I have observed from my life is that I rarely get the things I desire. However, the things or people who are in my life are far better than I could ever wish for. Sometimes I feel that somebody is watching me from above and taking decisions of my life for me. He has planned beautiful things in my life (that I know of) and in many ways He is controlling my life. But there is the dilemma – How to convince my mind that they are actually good for me? I have got wonderful parents who always understand, encourage and motivate me. I have got a few close friends who are ready to help me always. But sometimes it hurts when people act like strangers when you know them too well. It hurts when you’re stuck in your routine when you know your worth is more than that and somehow your true potential is getting dormant in due course of time. Your mind gets clouded by doubts and disbelief when you are unaware of your true self. Even if everything is going well in your life you never get satisfied. Something is missing somewhere and it makes you restless.
How to know what do you really want, or to speak correctly, what your mind wants. Most people are ignorant of the soul, they mistake the voice of their mind to be of their soul. Still, there are people who hopelessly live their life without bothering about their true self and the purpose of their life. Some would say, its good why bother about subtle issues and things unknown. But it is also true that in this life or the next ones, at some point of time, everybody will ponder about this question. Its only the matter of when.
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